The real cost of marriage.
I was stunned when I read about the cost of marriage. A newspaper reported that the average cost of getting married is £18,500. That‘s the average cost! I tried to tot up the figures in my head: a bride‘s dress and suit, bridesmaids outfits, two gold rings, a church service (circa £300), presents for various people, reception, cake and drinks etc. Yes, when you think about it things soon add up. It may be understandable especially since many marry later and so have many more friends to invite. But we may want to haggle over what is justifiable.

As a pastor I want to blow the whistle on this issue for two reasons. The first reason is that the economic cost of marriage is often a reason that couples do not get married: either leading to a delay or long-term postponement of tying the knot. In reality the lavish spread can be financially crippling if all our dreams are to be fulfilled. So, we have to ask from the practical standpoint is this really the priority? Yes we want to celebrate as best we can, but is a celebration better if we spend much more? This makes the day of marriage more important than the marriage itself.

The second reason is that a lavish celebration can disguise the real cost of marriage. The real cost of marriage is to the cost of commitment. Listen to a snippet from the apostle Paul: 'husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her;' then again concerning husbands: 'each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband' (Ephesians 5v25, 33). Paul explains that through the cross Jesus showed the ultimate commitment to his 'bride' the church (Eph 5v32). Such love is to be shown in practical action through self-sacrifice, faithfulness, forgiveness and persevering commitment. Such love is precious. So we are deeply saddened when a marriage ends in separation: we long for their reconciliation but aim to be a support where this doesn't happen. On the other hand, we delight in seeing even just a pale reflection of Christ's love between a man and a woman.

So, marriage is something well worth celebrating, but the real cost has not changed.

Paul Kingman